giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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