she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
