i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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