Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
