To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I deserve this hangover.
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