I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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