I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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