Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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