Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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