4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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