grandma shit on top of the toilet
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
