The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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