Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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