I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
