do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
