found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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