So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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