oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Jerry, you need to find god
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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