nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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