So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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