That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize