Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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