is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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