It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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