i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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