But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
