I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
