At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
