Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize