Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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