I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
