You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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