he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
