I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
ok first of all what the fuck
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
