Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
