we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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