PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
