do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
