he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
