dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm getting married
To pizza
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
