I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
