you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
