don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
