So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
COCAINE IS GR8
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
