For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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