Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
