You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
