I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
