I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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