Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
