I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Sorry about my life...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
