Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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