You made me cry and you don't even care
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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