This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize