why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
