so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
