I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
