Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
