i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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