this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
