We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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