I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
