i just google imaged poop.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
