i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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