Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
