You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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