he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
