Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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