..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
