do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
