I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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