dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize