When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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