I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
