What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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